I recently discussed mental health with a client. Helen (a name I'm using to protect her privacy) had been very depressed for a couple of years before she made changes in her lifestyle - career, relationship and geography.
Helen explained that her large Midwestern family, though dysfunctional,
did not admit the existence of "mental health" and were all
quite amazed and fascinated by her journey into therapy. Apparently
Helen was the only person they knew who had ever been "mentally
ill". (Do you believe this?) Helen explained that a therapist had
helped her get "more in touch with reality".
This was my cue to do some spiritual teaching and healing. I explained
to Helen that all behavior is learned behavior. Either in this or another
lifetime, something awful had happened to Helen to make her feel that
depressed. Helen's reaction was appropriate in this sense and was an
supporting indication that she was actually quite in touch with reality.
The challenge will be for Helen to remember the things that made this
negative impression on her so she can become more conscious and begin
the healing process.
When family environments are less than ideal, families - even whole
towns -- collude in silence about events that shape and influence children,
often because the parents are not proud of their parenting, because
they have repressed these memories out of shame or because they are
prominent people in the community who can intimidate others.
Please consider that if you're acting paranoid, it's not because you
are out of touch with reality, it's because you are in touch with reality
- a reality that can change as you heal.
This is a very important spiritual concept because it immediately will
help you to see that there's nothing wrong with you. My clients who
fear for their mental health invariably believe that their reactions
are distorted and "sick" when in fact that are appropriate
and were helpful as coping mechanisms.
Perhaps there are better ways now though! This is the important distinction
between spiritual healing and some traditional therapies. Healing does
not make you "more realistic". You were quite realistic before.
It doesn't put you "more in touch with reality" because there
is no "one" reality and the way you were acting before was
in touch with reality. It's just that it was a negative reality not
of your choosing.
What spiritual healing does, is to permit you to heal your comprehension
of the reality you experienced (perhaps "endured" would be
a better word) and to consciously create one of your own choosing.
Spiritual healers have permission to come quickly into this area with
you. You invite us into your lives for this very reason.
Imagine if you will, a child who grows up in a small town in the southeast,
say Atlanta. This child is molested by her father who is a deacon of
the Episcopal Church, a member of the Optimist Club, a doctor at a major
medical facility and a major donor to the Salvation Army.
If this child goes to the school counselor, chances are the counselor
will not be able to conceive of such a thing because she "knows"
the father is an outstanding member of the community. Pause for a moment
and ask yourself, "Who is out of touch with reality here?"
The realistic counselor will add to the child's belief that there is
something wrong with him or her, that s/he is "out of touch with
reality".
Most spiritual healers live outside the box and are not influenced by
what others think about anybody. We are usually so far out of the box
that we are also not afraid of consequences such as losing our job,
being snubbed or thought crazy. Heaven know we're used to that! Like
Shakespeare's fools, we know the truth and have permission to speak
it.
Another scenario, suppose the counselor has a good idea of what is going
on but is well aware of the wrath she will incur if she speaks up and
the impossible position in which she may put both herself and the child
because of the stature and power of the father? This is a scenario that
is repeated every day somewhere in America.
Suppose a young woman gets pregnant out of wedlock and is forced by
pressure from relatives and the community to give the baby away. A common
occurrence not too long ago was that the child would reappear within
the close family, being raised by an "aunt" or "older
sister", growing up close by the original mother but never being
told the truth of the situation. One day something or someone makes
the child, now a young adult, curious. (By the way, being raised in
an environment of well-meaning lies like this is enough to make you
feel ... out of touch with reality ... which indeed you are!)
Many of these people arrive at my house for readings or send letters
to my email inbox asking questions about the past … is this really
my father? What happened to my real father? Is my aunt really my sister?
The true beauty and gift of the spiritual healer is that we have permission
to speak plainly. We can (and will) corroborate your suspicions or we
will help you clarify them to the best of our abilities. We are eager
to shed light in dark areas because we know that the truth heals. We
are not afraid of the truth. It is our Guide. Because we work outside
the traditional framework, we may have a wider latitude than some traditional
therapists.
A
woman came to me for a reading who had been raped two times. She had
been in therapy ever since the first incident ten years ago and it had
just happened again. This situation outraged me so that I raised the
Sword of Truth and cut through the Gordian knot of lies.
I explained to her in ½ hour why this was happening to her, where
it had started and how she could stop it. When she left, she thanked
me profusely, telling me that I had helped her more in ½ hour
than ten years of therapy. (I might add it didn't cost nearly as much
either.)
Another woman came to me for a reading and I discovered that she was
borderline adult onset diabetic. I knew this but she did not. She admitted
she was addicted to "Skittles" and other things she didn't
want to discuss. She was ashamed. I worked with this women to help her
see that it was "sweetness" in life that she wanted, not this
food item that was making her feel shakey and headachy.
With this understanding, her lifestyle changed easily, of its own accord,
and she avoided the complications that might have come later in the
physical world. Spiritual healers work with the mis-connections in the
mind which lead to un-useful constructs in individual realities.
Unlike some traditional healing paradigms, we also do not believe in
just one reality. We believe that each person creates their own reality.
There are as many different realities as there are people.
Each person, truly, lives in their own world. We need to think about
this. Our "world" at any given time is comprised of about
12 people, those we run into and interact with on a daily or weekly
basis. If we were to change these 12 people, wouldn't our "whole
world" change? Sometimes rather than making difficult changes,
such as eliminating the toxic people from our lives, we do this instead:
we focus on a worldwide problem that is so big it keeps us far away
from the things that are really bearing down on us in our own small
world - the very things we could change to make our reality more positive
were we wiling to become conscious of them.
A good example of this is 911. How many people do you know that had
a nervous breakdown or "fell apart" after this event? These
people were likely living on the edge for many years, unable to deal
with ruptured experiences from the past, busy covering them up with
"busy-ness". When they saw something that big happen to that
many people, they finally had the excuse they were looking for to get
help! The truth is that this catastrophic event reminded them of something
from their own past that they had repressed. Experiment with this and
see if it isn't true. If you knew someone who had an extreme reaction
to 911, contemplate whether or not it reflected some aspect of their
own childhood.
Spiritual healers look at life differently than traditional therapists.
For some, this is a quicker, more productive path in healing.
Please
also visit my article on Friedrich
Nietzsche which also includes an article by Dr. Al Siebert on whether
or not schizonphrenia is an illness.
Nancy R. Fenn
